The Model

The Chief summoned me into his office.  I was up to my eyeballs with work already and didn't like the looks of this.  "Mike, I need you to give this new case your highest priority."  The Chief had never done this before.  What detective work could possibly be more important than what I was already working on?  "Lights", the Chief said without an ounce of humor.  "Lights?" I asked.  "Yes.  Some Very Important People from Pacific Heights called to complain about weird blue and green lights they have seen in the sky at night."  I knew better than to suggest that this was really more appropriate work for regular police.  The Chief could read minds though, and said "When I say Very Important People, I mean career makers or breakers, so you get the job.  These lights have been seen in Pacific Heights, The Haight and South of Market.  Here's a list of witnesses."

I noticed that the list contained a surprising number of big shots in the San Francisco fashion scene.  I decided to talk to Phil the photographer first.  "Mike," Phil said, not wanting to sound like a lunatic, "you know me.  Am I crazy?"  "Well..." I mumbled.  "I mean delusional crazy, not eccentric."  "No.  You are not crazy."  "OK then." Phil said, "I was doing a standard wild fashion shoot with some new models.  These models were unreal.  They seemed to all fit my personal ideal of perfect beauty.  They were so beautiful, I had a hard time focusing - literally and figuratively."  "About the lights?" I asked calmly.  "Oh yeah!", Phil exclaimed, returning to the subject at hand, "As soon as these ethereal models left the session, the lights went away."

"Did the models see the lights?" I asked.  "It was weird!  They didn't pay any attention to them!  I even asked them to look at the lights outside the studio window and they just giggled.  The lights were actually messing with my lighting, so I closed the shades." I asked Phil for the contact information on a few of the models.  Phil's face grew very serious.  "Mike, I only have their cells numbers, but you really don't want to interview them."  "Because...?"  "Because I'm worried you will fall hopelessly in love with them, just like me."  "Phil, now you DO sound crazy.  You're gay.  Have you been a closet heterosexual all these years?"  "Are you kidding?  Don't even SAY that!  My boyfriend would freak!  I just don't understand it.  I know a beautiful woman when I see her, but these girls are so beautiful, sweet and charming, they even bewitched ME!"

Now I was interested.  Women who could enthrall a pillar of the San Francisco LGBT community?  That just didn't happen in The City.  Naturally, I promised Phil that his secret was safe with me.  Phil was not only a great friend, but one of the most gifted photographers in The City if not the world.  He was well on his way to being the next Richard Avedon.  He was eccentric but when he said something it was true.

I called Lisa, a model on Phil's list from the photo session.  She met me at the station.  She was wearing baggy jeans, black Converse tennis shoes and a grey sweatshirt.  She was TRYING to look like a regular girl, but she wasn't.  Every man and woman in the station stopped what they were doing and followed her with their eyes. If she had shown any skin, I'm sure some of the older cops would have had coronaries.  It was if Nature had read my mind and created the most perfect beauty based on my subconscious.  Strangely, I felt very comfortable with her the moment she sat down in my office.  "This is exciting!" Lisa exclaimed "I've never been in a police station before!"  "Well, I'm glad you had time to talk Lisa."  I couldn't believe I was still able to form coherent sentences.  "Did you grow up in San Francisco?"  "Oh gosh no!  I grew up in a little town in Kansas.  I love big cities!"  "Gosh?" I thought.  Who says "gosh" these days?  "Did you see any strange lights when you were at Phil's photo shoot three nights ago?" I asked.  "Lights?  No.  That wonderful photographer Phil was talking about lights but I didn't see any."  How charming could this girl possibly be?

After Lisa left, I did a search on several federal databases and this girl simply did not exist in Kansas or anywhere.  I even checked Immigration - nothing.  I called Lisa's cell and she actually answered.  I asked if she could come back to the station, but she said she was leaving for a fashion shoot in New York in a few hours and "you know how airports are these days".  I said I understood.  She offered to meet me at a café in the Haight if I went right away.  I did.

Lisa was sipping some tea when I arrived.  She motioned me to sit down.  "Lisa, you may be wondering why I wanted to speak to you again."  "Gosh no!  I know why you're here.  You couldn't find me on any federal or international databases."  "Correct."  I said.  "And you won't.  There are no records of me anywhere.  We REALLY need to fix that problem. "  "We?" I asked.  "Oh, it's best that you don't know who 'we' are.  We mean you no harm.  We are kind of like tourists." "You have my full attention Lisa."

"Mike, there are many, many planets a lot like Earth in this galaxy alone!  Isn't that wonderful?"  I said it was indeed wonderful.  "You have many problems, but most civilizations do at your stage of development."  The waiter came over and asked if we needed anything.  "Just the check, handsome."  The waiter almost fainted, but he went away.  "You can tell that we were silly to visit as models, but humans tend to treat beautiful people better than your average person.  We are just visiting and we have only good intentions."  I asked what those intentions were.  "Just to tell the folks back home about you.  Some things make us sad, but that's your affair.  Most civilizations work out their problems."  "And the ones that don't?"  Lisa looked at me slightly disappointed.  "I'll take the Fifth on that question.  Don't worry.  It's all up to you."

"I assume you aren't REALLY going to New York."  "I am!  I'm excited!  But then we go home."  "And 'home' is...?"  Lisa just smiled.  She got up, gave me a kiss and walked away in that classic runway model walk, leaving $100 on the table.

"'Venus'?  That's your report?" The chief was not pleased.  "Sure!  Have you ever looked at Venus?  It's amazingly bright.  These people saw the planet Venus" I said with supreme confidence.